Motivated.

I used to be super motivated, super active and super happy. Now I’m just asdfghjkl. I don’t want to get up in the morning, I physically feel like I can’t and that there’s no need, what’s the point of spending half of your life at school learning if you’re going to die straight after?

When I get home on a weekday usually I just lie on my bed and stare at the wall. I’m not sleeping nor thinking but I managed to switch off my brain and forget about the world, which is a lovely feeling, but it’s getting hard to control. It’s getting harder to turn back on after I’ve blanked out my mind, I don’t even know if I want it back on.

I’ve given up on everything. All of my hobbies or the things I used to like cant seem to hold my interest anymore. It’s hard to find something to enjoy when the world has smothered you so much that you have lost all love for it.