First things first, lets start with the good, shall we?
What I’ve learnt over the past year is that everyone under eighteen acts like an emotional wreck and all over dramatic all the time, and guess what, you’re no different. I used to think I was- not the only one with issues- but the only one who’s issues got in the way. Everyone has problems. Everyone makes mistakes and is a completely embarrassing idiot most of the time. And then you grow up a bit. And you start learning how to let things go, to separate the important from other stuff and to pick your fights and your grudges, and that generally, everyone are nice.
I have amazing friends. Some from before who have been with me through it all have also matured. My jealously has weakened as I realise that I cannot become someone else who I envy, because I am different, and at points, someone will have wanted what I had. I am proud of myself and my friends. My new friends are perfect too.
I know what I’m working towards. University. Leeds maybe? Geography. Third year abroad. Fun. My grades are fine, the most stupid thing I’ve noticed is that when I revise I do well- ground breaking- maybe you should note this down.
Things I’ve been looking forward to I’ve started experiencing. Adult life, parties, clubs alcohol. It brings you self confidence and stories to tell, and you make more friends and bond with the ones you already have.
Which bring me onto what I’ve learnt, once again. My limits. Because two Saturdays ago I went to a party and awoke in the hospital with an IV. We need to look after our bodies. Research some illnesses, if you’re sexually active, please research. I read on cosmopolitan that cold sores are the same infection as herpes. Why did I not know this, these are facts to understand!
You don’t need to go out every week. You can watch TV all day who acres, everyone else has these days. But go for a run and don’t snack. Ask yourself, am I actually hungry or bored? Don’t be afraid of talking to new people- what are they going to do? Literally everyone is nice, no one turns around and says rude comments or ignores you! I don’t know why I used to think that if I initiated contact I would immediately be rejected, it’s such a dumb idea. People are programmed to want to be nice, to want to make friends. Of course, it’s still hard to talk to people and I don’t do it often, but I’ll try.
I’ve been on lots of holidays. Portugal, France, Italy, and volunteering in Malaysia. I love to travel. I learn about myself.
I have learn that you can have more than one best friend.
Bad things are a very grey area. Regarding mostly my self confidence (which is still pretty low) mostly about my personality and anxiety issues and my appearance- but I’m working on it. Also gossip is becoming a bit of a problem in my group of friends- but when is it not.
I can honestly say I am fine with my life. It’s pretty neutral at the moment and I think I’d rather just go to university and leave home, but then again, the thought of leaving literally all my friends and moving north 5 hours away is enough to make me cry.
Hey ho, life goes on.