Over the past few months I’ve grown tired. Of everything- of life. I was seriously considering telling everyone about all my stress, troubles, worries, and insecurities including my issues with self harm. It’s just so hard to deal with all on your own. Half of me wants to shout it out to the world, and relax and recover in the empathy and comfort thrown my way, but the other half just wants to stay hidden, stay normal, because I know that after that I can’t go back.
I wasn’t sure how I wasn’t going to do it, but I had decided just to let them see my blog, this one or my tumblr; they’re are both personal to me and would uncover all of my badly kept secrets. Of course, I didn’t go through with it. Was that the cowardly thing to do or the brave?
So, the reason of this post. Someone most definitely has this blog, I don’t know who or when, but someone I know must have it, I’m not this good at keeping things hidden, and I was thinking about changing the url or starting over, but I didn’t want to. This is home for me. I’ve been here way to long to dessert it. If someone has found it then oh well, you can do what you want with the information, tell my friends, my parents, pretend you haven’t seen it, talk to me, what ever you want. What I don’t want is someone feeling guilty that they know what’s going on, but they haven’t said anything. That’s absolutely pointless, and it will make me feel worse.
You don’t need to worry about me because I have made the decision to ride this out on my own. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to put this heavy load on your shoulders.