Throughout school, I always considered Maya as my best friend. I never really thought about it. I mean, we like the same music, we get on really well (as do out parents), we live near each other, have the same hobbies, and just… have an understanding of one another. Or at least, me and the old Maya did.
I don’t really know what’s going on. I know everyone changes, but she a completely different person now, and I find myself wanting to spend time with other people instead of her.
I find myself in realisation that I admire Maya. We’re basically the same person, but she’s better: smarter, prettier, more confident, funnier, and easy to get on with. I have always envied her, and always tried to impress her. She can command me around like a puppy, and she always gets her way. She’s too over dramatic about small situations, and always complicates things. I don’t want this post to be bad mouthing her- because she is still one of my closest most trustworthy friends! But she isn’t the Maya I made friends with. She’s different. We don’t click any more.
With my other friend, Sarah, sure there are taboo subjects in our conversations (like self harm), but I feel like I can talk to her about anything at all. She’s always been there for me, and never left me on the side for someone else, even though I’ve done that to her before.
Other than her beauty, amazing personality and common interests I like her bluntness and independence. If she has something to say- she will say it. She won’t say it later when the time has passed or that person has left the room, she does what she wants whilst considering everyone else’s emotion towards the subject. We’re are similar, but not the same. We have common interests, but we have separate lives. I admire her, but I don’t envy her (much). And I love her to bits.
And unlike other people in my life, she influences me to do better.